These are the five best ways to tell
Ladies listen up! We all know that good men are hard to find. Some of you may be married, some single. Either way you know the difference between a good man and whatever else is out there. You name it, that's what I'll call it! My research department has informed me that the pickins is slim! This means we have to put a search team together, strap on the leather boots, and get rid of the baggage to find what we want. We also have to except minor short comings, reorganize our priorities (a need and necessity list). I have listed the things we are looking for. If all doesn't apply, he isn't the one.
1) Has learned from past mistakes.
This is important because it shows that even though he's made bad decisions in the past, he hasn't repeated them. A rough past should be the foundation for a mentally stable future. Besides experience is the best teacher.
2) The relationship he has with his kids.
A man that doesn't take care of his kids, surely will not care for you. NO EXCEPTIONS! Your kids are the next best thing to you, so if he doesn't care about his kids DO NOT expect him to care anything for you either.
3) Type of people he associates with.
I'm afraid there is some truth to the saying, birds of a feather flock together. Look at his closest friends. They have some things in common. You need to know what it is. You also want to hear what others have to say about him. Keep in mind you can't change anybody. This is why you keep it moving. NEXT
4)What is his outlook on life?
What are his plans in life? Does he have goals? What motivates him? Is he registered to vote? What does he think of the presidential election? Both of you actually need to have answers to these questions. A person without a destination is lost.
5) Keeps a job and pays bills.
A real man knows that things have to be done and actually does them. A man will sacrifice for family and provide the best way possible. He will do what's best for family and not himself. Paying bills shows that he is responsible. Believe me when I tell you, many males will not pay bills.
Ladies, remember in order to get what you want and need you have to be willing to meet him half way. A relationship is give and take and this goes both ways. Don't mess things up for yourself being selfish and stupid. On the other hand if you have someone in your life that's draining you, then do what you have to do. The sooner the better!
Send comments to freshholmes@yahoo.com
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Yes We Can!
Let's Practice What Obama Preaches
Change is in the air! You have to feel it some kind of way. This is a historical time in our lives and as of now we have no idea of what's next. I have been seeing voter registrations everywhere. They have been stressing the issue of how important this is.
We all know people that complain about things in their lives. They even complain about the things they have total control of. Why do this if you aren't registered to vote? You might as well be a nobody because if you don't vote, you really don't exist.
A new year can start on any given day. You just have to pick the day. There's no better day or time than NOW!! Gas prices are outrageous, we can't afford to feed our family. When Ramen Noodles go up, you know times are hard!! Don't stand around giving directions unless you are an experienced director.
Television, music, material things are all distractions from the real issues. For some reason we choose to ignore the things that are taking place before our eyes. Changes are being put into place that will control our lives and NOBODY is above it. We are being controlled with technology and food.
Remember thoughts are things that determine your destination. So if you think negative you will get negative results. Its no secret! Laws of attraction exist even if you don't believe it. To prove my point, wake up tomorrow morning and tell yourself all day that you are going to have a bad day. See what happens.
We as a people have so much power and use it in the worse way. If everybody takes a small step, it will equal to one big step. Research what you hear, turn off the t.v., READ A BOOK! Say something nice to someone, smile, wash your hands more. DO SOMETHING! Anything positive to make a change in this world. VOTE FOR OBAMA!
Send your thoughts and comments to freshholmes@yahoo.com
Change is in the air! You have to feel it some kind of way. This is a historical time in our lives and as of now we have no idea of what's next. I have been seeing voter registrations everywhere. They have been stressing the issue of how important this is.
We all know people that complain about things in their lives. They even complain about the things they have total control of. Why do this if you aren't registered to vote? You might as well be a nobody because if you don't vote, you really don't exist.
A new year can start on any given day. You just have to pick the day. There's no better day or time than NOW!! Gas prices are outrageous, we can't afford to feed our family. When Ramen Noodles go up, you know times are hard!! Don't stand around giving directions unless you are an experienced director.
Television, music, material things are all distractions from the real issues. For some reason we choose to ignore the things that are taking place before our eyes. Changes are being put into place that will control our lives and NOBODY is above it. We are being controlled with technology and food.
Remember thoughts are things that determine your destination. So if you think negative you will get negative results. Its no secret! Laws of attraction exist even if you don't believe it. To prove my point, wake up tomorrow morning and tell yourself all day that you are going to have a bad day. See what happens.
We as a people have so much power and use it in the worse way. If everybody takes a small step, it will equal to one big step. Research what you hear, turn off the t.v., READ A BOOK! Say something nice to someone, smile, wash your hands more. DO SOMETHING! Anything positive to make a change in this world. VOTE FOR OBAMA!
Send your thoughts and comments to freshholmes@yahoo.com
Friday, September 19, 2008
Love and Money
Which would you choose?
The perfect life would be to fall deeply in love with someone and live happily ever after. When we hear that or say that its understood that living happily ever after includes being financially well off, in a relationship that's a dream come true in every way. The kids are smart as whip and become successful adults.
Now open your eyes and face reality. We have married couples struggling to make ends meet. Single parents have it even harder. These days living happily ever after is being able to just pay bills on time. Hoping your kids will stay out of trouble because they understand the sacrifice parents have to make working more and spending less time with them.
Truth is sometimes the pressure of having pay bills can force you to think about things you wouldn't if circumstances were better. There are certain things we must have in life which include a place to live, food, clothes, etc. I am keeping things simple by focusing on the basic necessities. We are facing high gas and food prices, everything is going up except our income which is still the same or lower because so many people are losing their jobs.
Since we have families to feed we start to look at things differently and weigh our options. With all things considered, we may make a screwed up decision based on the will to survive but because we also do it out of love for our families, do you think we chose money over love? Do you think that the saying is true that money is the root of all evil or the love of money is the root of all evil. Whatever the case may be we all want love and need money.
What do you think? Send me an email freshholmes@yahoo.com
The perfect life would be to fall deeply in love with someone and live happily ever after. When we hear that or say that its understood that living happily ever after includes being financially well off, in a relationship that's a dream come true in every way. The kids are smart as whip and become successful adults.
Now open your eyes and face reality. We have married couples struggling to make ends meet. Single parents have it even harder. These days living happily ever after is being able to just pay bills on time. Hoping your kids will stay out of trouble because they understand the sacrifice parents have to make working more and spending less time with them.
Truth is sometimes the pressure of having pay bills can force you to think about things you wouldn't if circumstances were better. There are certain things we must have in life which include a place to live, food, clothes, etc. I am keeping things simple by focusing on the basic necessities. We are facing high gas and food prices, everything is going up except our income which is still the same or lower because so many people are losing their jobs.
Since we have families to feed we start to look at things differently and weigh our options. With all things considered, we may make a screwed up decision based on the will to survive but because we also do it out of love for our families, do you think we chose money over love? Do you think that the saying is true that money is the root of all evil or the love of money is the root of all evil. Whatever the case may be we all want love and need money.
What do you think? Send me an email freshholmes@yahoo.com
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
What About Your Friends
Are they really your friends?
Let's start with the definition of friend. The dictionary says that a friend is someone that is attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. A person who gives assistance; a supporter. A person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile.
Now think about the people in your circle that you call your friends. Is your closest friend someone you can talk to without them judging you? Can you tell them about your deepest thoughts and feelings without it coming back on you later? Can your friend keep a secret?
Is your friend someone you can depend on? Does your friend give constructive criticism.
A friend is someone that has your best interest at heart. Someone that would never hurt you on purpose. A friend is someone that has no problem with admitting their faults and will apologize when wrong. A friend prefers to discuss the issues they have with you to you and not someone else. A friend will sacrifice some things for you such as a combo for more items on Wendy's ninety-nine cents menu so both of you are able to eat. A friend should only question your need for help so that they are able to help you in the best way possible. Also keep in mind that a jealous person can never be a good friend to anybody because there will always be a conflict of interest.
Notice that the definition of friend did not mention time in any way. So you can stop saying someone is your friend or best friend because of the amount of time you've known each other . That doesn't count! (Literally)
Have you realized who your real friends are? How? Send me an email
freshholmes@yahoo.com
Let's start with the definition of friend. The dictionary says that a friend is someone that is attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. A person who gives assistance; a supporter. A person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile.
Now think about the people in your circle that you call your friends. Is your closest friend someone you can talk to without them judging you? Can you tell them about your deepest thoughts and feelings without it coming back on you later? Can your friend keep a secret?
Is your friend someone you can depend on? Does your friend give constructive criticism.
A friend is someone that has your best interest at heart. Someone that would never hurt you on purpose. A friend is someone that has no problem with admitting their faults and will apologize when wrong. A friend prefers to discuss the issues they have with you to you and not someone else. A friend will sacrifice some things for you such as a combo for more items on Wendy's ninety-nine cents menu so both of you are able to eat. A friend should only question your need for help so that they are able to help you in the best way possible. Also keep in mind that a jealous person can never be a good friend to anybody because there will always be a conflict of interest.
Notice that the definition of friend did not mention time in any way. So you can stop saying someone is your friend or best friend because of the amount of time you've known each other . That doesn't count! (Literally)
Have you realized who your real friends are? How? Send me an email
freshholmes@yahoo.com
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Let The Relationship Begin!
Who Makes it Official?
Remember in elementary school or the first year of middle school when a boy liked a girl he slipped her a note that said: Will you be my girlfriend? circle yes or no. Those were the good old days when simple things were indeed simple. I was wondering how this works in 2008.
Women in general are always more willing and ready to commit than men. Most of us seem to have a sense of urgency when it comes to relationships. There is nothing wrong with wanting to know if the guy you're interested in- is on the same page as you. In the beginning its important to discuss where each of you are in life to see if a serious long term relationship is even an option. You shouldn't start anything assuming you both want the same things.
After a couple months of dating and discussing dating expectations, you find that you and this guy have great potential to develop a wonderful long lasting relationship. He consistently compliments you, smiles at you, doesn't mind being a perfect gentlemen (especially in public). He enjoys your company and has mentioned he would like you to meet his family. The conversation at this point says that you're a couple however he hasn't said the actual words or slipped you a note so........ it's up to you. Make it official by telling him how you feel and that you know that he feels the same- and because you both feel the same, he is now your boyfriend:).
How was your relationship made official? Share your story! Email me at freshholmes@yahoo.com
Remember in elementary school or the first year of middle school when a boy liked a girl he slipped her a note that said: Will you be my girlfriend? circle yes or no. Those were the good old days when simple things were indeed simple. I was wondering how this works in 2008.
Women in general are always more willing and ready to commit than men. Most of us seem to have a sense of urgency when it comes to relationships. There is nothing wrong with wanting to know if the guy you're interested in- is on the same page as you. In the beginning its important to discuss where each of you are in life to see if a serious long term relationship is even an option. You shouldn't start anything assuming you both want the same things.
After a couple months of dating and discussing dating expectations, you find that you and this guy have great potential to develop a wonderful long lasting relationship. He consistently compliments you, smiles at you, doesn't mind being a perfect gentlemen (especially in public). He enjoys your company and has mentioned he would like you to meet his family. The conversation at this point says that you're a couple however he hasn't said the actual words or slipped you a note so........ it's up to you. Make it official by telling him how you feel and that you know that he feels the same- and because you both feel the same, he is now your boyfriend:).
How was your relationship made official? Share your story! Email me at freshholmes@yahoo.com
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Is It Possible To Fall In Love Cautiously?
A friend and I were talking about falling in love and were wondering if its possible to do it carefully. My answer was no. Anyone that has ever been in love and has had their heart broken knows that love just like life has no guarantees. When you fall in love with someone it is in hopes of something great and long term.
Things happen and people change. Although its not possible, but what if relationships came along with expiration dates and/or contracts and breach of the contract could result in legal action. I agree that this does sound crazy, however take into consideration the heartache and pain that we endure behind a selfish act from someone we decided to love and give the one thing we can never get back (time). Even though time and emotions are priceless, it would be nice to be compensated for sanity's sake. After a break up comes a complete makeover. Besides this may make the other person rethink some things if they have a lot more to lose.
While there really is no safe way to fall in love, we could probably agree that we should never ignore obvious signs of drama to come. We also have to use our head more than our hearts.
Its okay to see a person for who they really are and except them as is. This doesn't mean that you have to have a relationship with this person. Once you figure things out go from there but do not ever waste time thinking you can change someone into what you want them to be.
True love and happiness are two of the many things we all live for. Don't let your past relationships determine your future and hinder your ability to love like never before. Live, love, learn and move on.
Have you been able to fall in love cautiously? Has it worked? I would love to hear about it.
freshholmes@yahoo.com
JG8D69D
Things happen and people change. Although its not possible, but what if relationships came along with expiration dates and/or contracts and breach of the contract could result in legal action. I agree that this does sound crazy, however take into consideration the heartache and pain that we endure behind a selfish act from someone we decided to love and give the one thing we can never get back (time). Even though time and emotions are priceless, it would be nice to be compensated for sanity's sake. After a break up comes a complete makeover. Besides this may make the other person rethink some things if they have a lot more to lose.
While there really is no safe way to fall in love, we could probably agree that we should never ignore obvious signs of drama to come. We also have to use our head more than our hearts.
Its okay to see a person for who they really are and except them as is. This doesn't mean that you have to have a relationship with this person. Once you figure things out go from there but do not ever waste time thinking you can change someone into what you want them to be.
True love and happiness are two of the many things we all live for. Don't let your past relationships determine your future and hinder your ability to love like never before. Live, love, learn and move on.
Have you been able to fall in love cautiously? Has it worked? I would love to hear about it.
freshholmes@yahoo.com
JG8D69D
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