Just because it didn't come as expected doesn't mean its not what you wanted
People, be mindful that the opportunity of a lifetime may present itself in an unusual and strange way. Always keep an open mind and remember the saying: There is more than one way to skin a cat. Don't let something great pass you by being simple minded and ignorant.
There may be something or some things that you want to happen in your life but you are too stuck in your way of thinking to see it coming to you. When praying for the things that you want, be sure to ask God to open your mind up to accept it in an unusual way simply because you just never know how an opportunity will present itself.
send comments to freshholmes@yahoo.com
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Should Women Pursue Men?
How should this be done
A series of events lead me to wonder if men like to be pursued by women. Before I go any further remember we are in the year 2009. Almost nothing is traditional anymore. I had conversations with friends about this and actually asked a few guys their opinion. I was very surprised at the response.
This is one of those topics that can be debatable for women because so many of us have gotten relaxed at the thought and the habit of men approaching us. We have figured out how we like to be approach, what this guy should say and/or do to get our attention. We even know how we want guys to look at us. We've grown accustom to thinking all we have to do is look pretty and they will come.
I am proud to say that I will be thirty soon and very proud of it because of all the things that I have learned in my life. I would not rather be younger nor do I wish to be anything like anyone else. I think I have fallen in love with myself. This love for myself has also brought on direction in different areas of my life. I now know what it is that I want, especially in a relationship. So I have to be willing to sometimes go after a man that may be what I am looking for.
So back to the question. Should women pursue men? I think the answer is yes. I would also say that there is an art to it. Men are rarely approached by women and surely don't get the flowers or the chocolates that we look forward to. As mentioned before, I did question a few men and their first two answers were the same. They all like the idea of women showing their interest. It tells them that woman is confident and confidence is sexy to a man. The question was how did they want to be approached or what could a woman do to turn them on initially. The response was " I don't know". This was very surprising because they realized this was something they had never given thought to. These guys were clueless. They had never been asked this question before.
From all the information I gathered I realized there is an art to this. We do know that all men aren't the same so the approach has to be different. There are a couple rules that are the same no matter what. The first one is you don't just walk up to a guy and say let me get your number or whats up for the night. A guy does not want to be man handled! Although it feels good to flip the script sometimes so they can see how it feels. Initial contact is not the time for that. Save it for when he has earned it. The second is be sexy without being sexual. There is a difference.
We know the ratio of women to men (in Atlanta) is like 20:1 or something like that, so just think even with those numbers, how many don't work out and the many ways you can set yourself apart from other women. Bottom line is to not be afraid to make the first move or the second but leave the third up to him and if you aren't quite there yet with the approach then just give him the eye (without being stalkerish) til he notices and be approachable. Compliment him and show genuine interest. Somehow it will all come together if its suppose to.
Comments, suggestions, questions? Shoot me an email freshholmes@yahoo.com
A series of events lead me to wonder if men like to be pursued by women. Before I go any further remember we are in the year 2009. Almost nothing is traditional anymore. I had conversations with friends about this and actually asked a few guys their opinion. I was very surprised at the response.
This is one of those topics that can be debatable for women because so many of us have gotten relaxed at the thought and the habit of men approaching us. We have figured out how we like to be approach, what this guy should say and/or do to get our attention. We even know how we want guys to look at us. We've grown accustom to thinking all we have to do is look pretty and they will come.
I am proud to say that I will be thirty soon and very proud of it because of all the things that I have learned in my life. I would not rather be younger nor do I wish to be anything like anyone else. I think I have fallen in love with myself. This love for myself has also brought on direction in different areas of my life. I now know what it is that I want, especially in a relationship. So I have to be willing to sometimes go after a man that may be what I am looking for.
So back to the question. Should women pursue men? I think the answer is yes. I would also say that there is an art to it. Men are rarely approached by women and surely don't get the flowers or the chocolates that we look forward to. As mentioned before, I did question a few men and their first two answers were the same. They all like the idea of women showing their interest. It tells them that woman is confident and confidence is sexy to a man. The question was how did they want to be approached or what could a woman do to turn them on initially. The response was " I don't know". This was very surprising because they realized this was something they had never given thought to. These guys were clueless. They had never been asked this question before.
From all the information I gathered I realized there is an art to this. We do know that all men aren't the same so the approach has to be different. There are a couple rules that are the same no matter what. The first one is you don't just walk up to a guy and say let me get your number or whats up for the night. A guy does not want to be man handled! Although it feels good to flip the script sometimes so they can see how it feels. Initial contact is not the time for that. Save it for when he has earned it. The second is be sexy without being sexual. There is a difference.
We know the ratio of women to men (in Atlanta) is like 20:1 or something like that, so just think even with those numbers, how many don't work out and the many ways you can set yourself apart from other women. Bottom line is to not be afraid to make the first move or the second but leave the third up to him and if you aren't quite there yet with the approach then just give him the eye (without being stalkerish) til he notices and be approachable. Compliment him and show genuine interest. Somehow it will all come together if its suppose to.
Comments, suggestions, questions? Shoot me an email freshholmes@yahoo.com
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Think Of Your Time As Money
You gotta pay me for mine
I have noticed that when you make yourself available to people on the regular basis your demand decreases. People start to take you for granted because they think you have nothing to do. Let me give you an example. Lets say you have the rare opportunity to spend and hour with a celebrity of your choice. Wouldn't you prepare for that day? Why? One major reason is because you know that this person's time is very valuable and you want to get the most of your time with this person. On the flip side you have someone you always have access to and you can call them for anything and everything and sometimes nothing. See the difference?
In real estate contracts they use a term: Time is of the essence. That term can be used in things that we do everyday. Just like the saying: with age comes wisdom. I've learn the value of MY time and if its to be wasted I would rather waste MY time than allow someone else to do it. Do you value your time? There are only twenty-four hours in a day and that's really not a lot of time. When you work, have kids to tend to and a destructive rabbit, who has time to waste? By the way does anyone want a rabbit? Please email me!
Over time I have become more relaxed and I pick my battles. I decide what to get upset over. I would rather spend time thinking of my next career move or what the kids will eat for dinner than dwell over an unreturned phone call or someone or something that I absolutely have no control over. Hint: Refer to the serenity prayer, then react to whatever situation you are faced with. Life is really too short to major in anything minor. Pray about everything, control what you can, do what you can to change what you can and let go and let God do the rest.
If there was a way to send a text invoice after each phone call, think of how much money we would make. People, we have to start thinking of our time as money. If we did, we would look at things differently and hopefully consider it as a way to filter out the unnecessary things in our lives. Yeah the Chris Brown and Rhianna situation is a great conversation piece but we must invest our time and energy in more important things. Gas prices are still too high, Unemployment is at an all time high and my rabbit is destroying my place. Someone please help me! This is a great time to change the way you think and become a better you.
Make a to do list every night and follow through with it the next day. Even if its reading a chapter in a book you've allowed to collect dust. Do something to better yourself. Make the most of your time!!
I would love to hear from you freshholmes@yahoo.com
I have noticed that when you make yourself available to people on the regular basis your demand decreases. People start to take you for granted because they think you have nothing to do. Let me give you an example. Lets say you have the rare opportunity to spend and hour with a celebrity of your choice. Wouldn't you prepare for that day? Why? One major reason is because you know that this person's time is very valuable and you want to get the most of your time with this person. On the flip side you have someone you always have access to and you can call them for anything and everything and sometimes nothing. See the difference?
In real estate contracts they use a term: Time is of the essence. That term can be used in things that we do everyday. Just like the saying: with age comes wisdom. I've learn the value of MY time and if its to be wasted I would rather waste MY time than allow someone else to do it. Do you value your time? There are only twenty-four hours in a day and that's really not a lot of time. When you work, have kids to tend to and a destructive rabbit, who has time to waste? By the way does anyone want a rabbit? Please email me!
Over time I have become more relaxed and I pick my battles. I decide what to get upset over. I would rather spend time thinking of my next career move or what the kids will eat for dinner than dwell over an unreturned phone call or someone or something that I absolutely have no control over. Hint: Refer to the serenity prayer, then react to whatever situation you are faced with. Life is really too short to major in anything minor. Pray about everything, control what you can, do what you can to change what you can and let go and let God do the rest.
If there was a way to send a text invoice after each phone call, think of how much money we would make. People, we have to start thinking of our time as money. If we did, we would look at things differently and hopefully consider it as a way to filter out the unnecessary things in our lives. Yeah the Chris Brown and Rhianna situation is a great conversation piece but we must invest our time and energy in more important things. Gas prices are still too high, Unemployment is at an all time high and my rabbit is destroying my place. Someone please help me! This is a great time to change the way you think and become a better you.
Make a to do list every night and follow through with it the next day. Even if its reading a chapter in a book you've allowed to collect dust. Do something to better yourself. Make the most of your time!!
I would love to hear from you freshholmes@yahoo.com
Friday, March 13, 2009
Get Your Mind Right
Did you know that the most successful people have basic habits? They have a vision, they set goals, and go for it. In the process they don't let anyone tell them what they can and can't do. Its amazing how we surround ourselves with negative things and people and think nothing of it.
When was the last time you did something you were proud of? It could have been something as simple as losing one pound of ten, making the last payment on a long term bill, or finally getting out of your comfort zone doing something you should have done a long time ago. We are so good at saying I will start that tomorrow or I will start fresh on Monday morning or we swear to get it right for the new year.
Taking the first step toward a dream can make you feel like you are on cloud nine. Shortly after that imagine what you will feel like once you have accomplished that goal. Most of us have no clue how important self discipline is. You have to start by gaining control over your thoughts. You must replace one negative thought with three or four positive thoughts. In other words you have to reprogram your way of thinking.
People that fail to achieve their desired level of success do so because they are easily influenced by others. Have you ever heard the saying: Opinions are like butt holes, everybody has one? Think about how true that is. No matter what you say or do, someone is going to think something about it. The last time you made a decision, did you have to consult with family and/or friends? Why? Successful people consult with experienced like minds. We consult with inexperienced broke minds. Why?
We were not born with the spirit of fear. It was taught to us. I challenge you to do something that will make you proud of yourself and hopefully encourage those around you to do the same. This is still a new year. Its not too late to make this year ten times better than last year. Keep your dreams alive by doing something everyday that brings you closer to obtaining them.
Share your thoughts at freshholmes@yahoo.com
When was the last time you did something you were proud of? It could have been something as simple as losing one pound of ten, making the last payment on a long term bill, or finally getting out of your comfort zone doing something you should have done a long time ago. We are so good at saying I will start that tomorrow or I will start fresh on Monday morning or we swear to get it right for the new year.
Taking the first step toward a dream can make you feel like you are on cloud nine. Shortly after that imagine what you will feel like once you have accomplished that goal. Most of us have no clue how important self discipline is. You have to start by gaining control over your thoughts. You must replace one negative thought with three or four positive thoughts. In other words you have to reprogram your way of thinking.
People that fail to achieve their desired level of success do so because they are easily influenced by others. Have you ever heard the saying: Opinions are like butt holes, everybody has one? Think about how true that is. No matter what you say or do, someone is going to think something about it. The last time you made a decision, did you have to consult with family and/or friends? Why? Successful people consult with experienced like minds. We consult with inexperienced broke minds. Why?
We were not born with the spirit of fear. It was taught to us. I challenge you to do something that will make you proud of yourself and hopefully encourage those around you to do the same. This is still a new year. Its not too late to make this year ten times better than last year. Keep your dreams alive by doing something everyday that brings you closer to obtaining them.
Share your thoughts at freshholmes@yahoo.com
Friday, March 6, 2009
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Check Me Out!
I DID THAT!!
There is an up and coming web magazine called The League Magazine. I was given the opportunity to write the introduction to Keri Hilson's interview and she (Miss Ivirlei) thought enough of it to publish it in the latest issue of the magazine. I was very excited to see my name in print and as one of the contributing editors. It is motivation to me and forces me to think more positive thoughts about myself. Its funny how others see our potential before we do. This is one of those times for me.
Thank You Ivirlei for the opportunity! It means a lot to me!
Please view the web magazine at www.leaguemagazine.com
There is an up and coming web magazine called The League Magazine. I was given the opportunity to write the introduction to Keri Hilson's interview and she (Miss Ivirlei) thought enough of it to publish it in the latest issue of the magazine. I was very excited to see my name in print and as one of the contributing editors. It is motivation to me and forces me to think more positive thoughts about myself. Its funny how others see our potential before we do. This is one of those times for me.
Thank You Ivirlei for the opportunity! It means a lot to me!
Please view the web magazine at www.leaguemagazine.com
The Power of Prayer
Do you know how much power is in praying?
I have come to realize that I need to pray constantly day in and out and it helps. I pray to get through each day, sometimes each hour of work. My need for God's mercy is growing and changing. I don't consider myself to be a religious person but I obviously believe in a higher being. I honestly don't know the story behind the the bible, the events that took place, who said and did what. All I know is that there has to be someone watching over us everyday.
Think about all the things that could have been and probably should have but wasn't. Who do you think is behind that. Its not a matter of "good luck" or you just so happen to make the right decision. It was God's favor that intervened. At some point you have to recognize this and give thanks for it all.
With prayer you also have to realize that you get what you put out. You cant ask for good things to happen to you and you are a negative person or you don't ever stop to help others whenever possible. Positive things come from prayer when your heart is also in the right place. The law of attraction is very real.
Prayer is powerful and it works! We are experiencing hard economic times as a nation.
Even though people are struggling financially and in other ways, somehow we manage to vote in our first black president. Which was no mistake! That is the power of prayer and positive thinking, and tangible evidence of faith that many had to make it happen.
From this day forward make it a priority to put God first and pray. Thank him for everyday you wake up, thank him for food shelter, your health and if one person loves you thank him for that as well. Tell him you appreciate him and that you love him. He will in turn smile at you with his blessings. Stay positive and know that all things are possible through him.
I would love to hear from you. Send emails to freshholmes@yahoo.com
I have come to realize that I need to pray constantly day in and out and it helps. I pray to get through each day, sometimes each hour of work. My need for God's mercy is growing and changing. I don't consider myself to be a religious person but I obviously believe in a higher being. I honestly don't know the story behind the the bible, the events that took place, who said and did what. All I know is that there has to be someone watching over us everyday.
Think about all the things that could have been and probably should have but wasn't. Who do you think is behind that. Its not a matter of "good luck" or you just so happen to make the right decision. It was God's favor that intervened. At some point you have to recognize this and give thanks for it all.
With prayer you also have to realize that you get what you put out. You cant ask for good things to happen to you and you are a negative person or you don't ever stop to help others whenever possible. Positive things come from prayer when your heart is also in the right place. The law of attraction is very real.
Prayer is powerful and it works! We are experiencing hard economic times as a nation.
Even though people are struggling financially and in other ways, somehow we manage to vote in our first black president. Which was no mistake! That is the power of prayer and positive thinking, and tangible evidence of faith that many had to make it happen.
From this day forward make it a priority to put God first and pray. Thank him for everyday you wake up, thank him for food shelter, your health and if one person loves you thank him for that as well. Tell him you appreciate him and that you love him. He will in turn smile at you with his blessings. Stay positive and know that all things are possible through him.
I would love to hear from you. Send emails to freshholmes@yahoo.com
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